Chaos

 September 2018

Finding Peace in Chaos

I will be honest, I started writing this as I sat on a beachfront deck on the Oregon Coast watching the sun set. It was a surprisingly beautiful day. The love of my life and one of my kiddos were on their way, and I truly felt so blessed, and at peace. It's easy in those moments, where the feeling of gratitude just flows from your heart. We all have been there, hopefully many times. 

What isn't easy is to find peace when shit is hitting the fan. When you're a teacher walking the picket lines instead of being in your classroom with your students. When you're a parent of these students trying wrap your mind around what is going on. When you are sitting in traffic, waiting in a long line, going to a dreaded appointment or dealing with difficult people. You know, when you have to stand up for what you believe in and deal with conflict. I totally admit that I often find myself falling into moments where my shoulders rise into my ears. I quit breathing. My heart is heavy and my attitude sinks with it. I react with a knee-jerk response rather than a mindful one. I want to scream, punch something (or someone) and/or run away and hide. 

Well, running away or hiding from our shit doesn't get us anywhere. Let me tell you...I've pushed enough crap under the rug, and it just finds it's way back out. Usually it's bigger and smellier. So, dealing with it before it gets too big is a really good idea. It may not be fun, nor pretty, but it needs to be done. There's a little lesson I practice that I'd like to share with you. It sounds so simple when I talk about it. And the concept truly is simple, but execution is complex, and at times seemingly impossible. It is the power of AWARENESS. I know this is true because I live it, every single day. I can only speak from my experience, and that is in hopes that just one, maybe some, of you can relate, feel validated and learn new tools. 

While sitting on the beach, I was easily able to put the stressors of life, like the strike which affects me as an employee of BGSD and my son as a student of the same district, to the side, breathe deeply and be in the present moment. It is now that I'm home, and on day 3 of the strike that I am literally in middle of the shit storm. Here's the truth. There isn't a damn thing I can do about it. So when I fight it, when I complain and worry, I am creating negative energy, a sense of tightness. That tightness surrounding the situation goes into my muscles, constricts my breath and limits my thoughts. It has been happening more and more lately. 

Here's the good news, while I may not be able to personally sit the superintendent and the teacher union leader down and mediate the situation to a resolution, I can be AWARE. I know that this negativity, this tightness does nothing to help me or the situation. I'm just an angry school employee and parent who loves teachers and almost yelled at a Fred Meyer checker and guest for having a conversation about the strike. I loose my grace and am overcome with strength. I see red. (hahahaa! that's a funny pun, 'cause the teachers are wearing red to show unity) #redfored Anyhow, I admit that I have less patience, skills available and want to eat the whole carton of ice cream. With awareness, I don't. I didn't yell at the checker in Fred Meyers. I have cried because I feel so helpless. Several times, in fact. But I find my breath, sit with just that for a moment and move forward using those tools I know are there. My patience. My balance between strength and grace. My faith in honesty, integrity and what is right. My communication skills. Did I mention my patience? ;) 

There's also a perspective that I feel is important to share. And that is when you're in the middle of a shit storm and you have to stand up for what you believe is right. Standing tall in your truth is a whole 'nother blog, but I have to give a shout out to so many of my Washington State teacher friends for standing up for themselves. It's not easy, most certainly not pretty, but very necessary. I have so much admiration for you. Stay strong! Stay graceful! Stay true to you! My family and I support you. 

Because I ♥ Teachers, I dedicate Heathen Yoga to them!

If you're a teacher, let me buy you a beer. 

Class + beverage = only $15

From the bottom of my heart, to all those who took the time to read this,

I love you.

Namaste,

Krista Lee