Blame Game

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As I lay in bed the other morning, I let my mind wander to all the challenges I have in life. I will be honest, there's a lot on my plate at this point in time. My emotions flooded with sadness, grief, suffering, hurt and defeat. I easily slipped into a "pity party" attitude. I got up, went about my day with a dark cloud lingering over my head. I found myself crying for seemingly no reason a couple times. I kept thinking, "Why is all this happening to me? and How can he do this to me/us?" I found myself back in bed, fully dressed in the late afternoon -- Which is TOTALLY unlike me. Derek came to check on me, just wiped my tears, kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. Then Justin, my 15 year old son, came in and laid right on top of me. I don't know if his 200+ pound body squished the negativity out of me, or what....but right then and there I made up my mind not to let my challenges get the better of me. Literally, sitting right in front of me was just one of the many miraculous blessings I have in my life.

I laid there for a few more minutes, reveling in what had just happened. I literally SHIFTED my perspective on my situations. I realized that I'd been blaming someone/something else for my misery. I was playing the victim card. Yuck!! As I sat in my room that is brightly painted, decorated beautifully and amongst my family...it hit me, like a gentle lightening bolt. The people/things/experiences that I was blaming for my bad 'tude were no where in sight. They were miles away, it was in the past, or it hasn't even happened yet. It was all in my head. Jeez, Krista....

I have an abundance of wonderful people/things/experiences right in front of me. Why was I living in my head?! And foremost, why was I letting all that other shit overshadow all the greatness and joy I have in my life right now?! It's not because I'm weak, that's for damn sure. It's because I am human. A spiritual being living in this human world, just like you.

I will be the first to admit, it is not easy to always be on your game. The key is to notice when you've lost your game, and look deep within you for the playbook with all your tricks and tools and get back on field with your shoes tied tight, your pads on and helmet secure.

(Go 'Hawks!)

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